Wholeness Within by Zoe Joseph.
Category: Spiritual
Paperback: 60 pages
Language: English
ISBN: 0955663709

"I often said to myself, I am not ready to be with God yet, maybe when I get to my 40s but not yet, little did I know what God had planned for me. The starting point of my journey when I recognised I needed to make changes would have started in my mid 20s, a need to make changes was something I knew I needed to do, but didn’t know exactly how to at that time. I would start to read books like In the Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant (excellent book, all her books are excellent by the way) and Men are from Mars and Women from Venus by John Gray any self-help books I could get my hands on, even though I was reading the books, taking them in and understanding them, it was not enough. I would think positive and act positive for a while then go back to that negative mode (which I now call the negative flesh mode, I will explain more about this later on in the book).

One of the negative changes I needed to address would be never being able to finish something, a course, decorating, I was putting up wall paper once and had just a corner left to do, that corner stayed that way for the next four years and that was only because I was ready to redecorate. I would start something and daren’t stop for a minute, hour or day because that would be it, never getting finished. I would put a deposit down for something to buy as I didn’t have enough money to buy it out right and still would not go back to finish off the balance. I spent so much money doing this through the years if I’d put away all the money I lost, I would be rich by now (well a girl can dream) I now know I was living life in half and not as a whole.

Another thing was living with the "why me syndrome", things in my life seemed to always get doomed. I started to have Epileptic fits at 11, I thought to myself "why me?". There was not a year that went by that I was not in hospital, got pregnant at 17 thought again "why me?". It didn’t work out with the father again "why me?", got pregnant for the second time at 25, had a really bad pregnancy ended up in intensive care and nearly died but again God had plans for me, it was not my time yet. My son was three months premature weighing just three pounds he was born with a hole in his heart and a hole in his bowels and developed epileptic fits. He too was in intensive care, stayed in hospital for three months again "why me" but through prayer we are now very healthy. My "why me" syndrome lasted for many more years after that."